The Contraption

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The Contraption

In a quaint little town on a cobblestone street

By the old town square where the townsfolk all met,

There appeared one day right out of the blue

A tuxedo clad lad who had something new,

Underneath a big veil so that no one could see...

What in the world do you think it could be?

Illustration by Izzy A. Tripper

"Step right up folks, now all gather round,

for I soon shall unveil something sure to astound!

Sound the horns and let the red carpets be unfurled,

for this new idea might just stun the whole world!"

The number of people at first was quite few,

All patiently waiting to see something new.

"There has been no such thing such as this thing before,

so cleverly brilliant and deft to the core!

No mirrors are used, not one special effect,

the only trick used is high intellect."

The townsfolk grew curious - they wanted to know

About this new thing that he said he would show.

But the time was not right - the crowd was too small,

And until it got bigger he would not show at all.

"I have built the most ingenious contraption,

and it's soon to be the rage and the fashion!

It's an Ultra Supersonic Mega-Deluxe Supreme,

and it spins and twirls and belches out steam!"

He lifted the corner of the veil just a bit,

Then pulled it back down lickety split!

No need to reveal the whole secret so soon,

He'd wait 'til the time was more opportune.

"It's got wheels and gears, and full hydroponics,

plus it feels and hears with sensory-bionics.

And you will just love the on-board computer,

it's fully pre-programmed to make you look cuter."

"It sounds so great - too good to be true.

Please show us right now with no further ado!"

"It's got telescoping tentacles - one on each side,

and it runs on hot lava and it's easy to ride.

It has spring-loaded boingers on the bottom and top,

and you just push a button when you want it to stop."

Unbearable suspense was starting to mount,

The number of people grew too large to count.

He could just tell from the look on each face,

They were growing impatient so he quickened his pace.

"It's got wrong sized rims with all the axles off center,

Yes, a mind boggling enigma engineered by a dementer!

All the grease was leached out of the bearings by freaks,

o the faster you go, the faster it squeaks!

It's got bouncy hop springs without any shocks

and at least a half dozen glow-in-the-dark Cuckoo clocks!!!"

There's only one thing less pleasing than a crowd that's displeased,

And that is a crowd that's not fully teased.

Anxiety was growing, but he had the floor,

So with no sense of slowing he teased them some more.

"Yes, it's the all-in-one universal, supernatural machine,

and it's the handiest lil' gadget that you've ever seen!"

"What is it? Please show us," the crowd did implore,

"Please show us right now - we can't wait anymore!"

"Plus, it's got vibrating hydraulics with warm fuzzies inside,

it might tickle you silly, though I've never tried.

It slices, it dices, it cooks and it cleans,

everyone's got to have one of these machines!"

"That's it, we've had it! You've run out of time,

We will no longer listen to your nonsensical rhyme!"

He was laughing inside as cries came from the crowd,

"SHOW US RIGHT NOW FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"I'm sorry, that's it - the end of the show.

I'll pack up my stuff - it's time to go.

Huh? What's wrong? You seem so upset,

Was there something I missed? What did I forget?"

He then disappeared underneath the big veil,

As the frustrated crowd began to wail.

The police were called in for crowd control,

Then the whole thing started to roll...

He's now movin' on, perhaps to your town,

But don't you worry, he wont let you down!

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